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ASK ME ANYTHING @http://ask.fm/potatolicious2.

Random Thoughts

Its been awhile I didnt post anything in my blog and therefore shall write a short one for now.

Its the month of Ramadhan right now and as for today its the 11th day of fasting. Things have change and so does my PREFERENCE when finding my partner. I mean I used to like guys but right now i feel that its not guys that attracts me, its their physical shape (nice body shape) that I want it badly..

In other words, I prefer to date a girl but at the same time I want to look good and sexy/hunky for girls to get attracted to me. Personally I dont feel sth is attractive about myself. All I see about myself is by fat and yeah I WANT to get the super model guy body shape. Im just overly too obsessed with abs , esp guy abs and yeah I feel that abs is one of the factor that makes a girls find a guy attractive. Sigh when can I have those sexy figure as in the abs.

I wonder when.Maybe few more weeks,maybe another month?4months?6months? 1 year more?

I hate you fats. HAHAH make my life miserable only.

Regard
The guy with miserable life.

Pink Dot 2014

Yes to those who still unsure or have not heard anything about the PinkDot, it is an annul event held at hong lim park where people come together regardless of their sexuality(be it they are straight, bisexuals, gay, transgender and the questioning) supporting the freedom to love. To be honest I have never attend such an event before ever in my life(didnt expect whats the environment like and what it will turn out to be).

SG PinkDot 2014 is coming in 10 days time and yeah im not sure if im looking forward to it enthusiastically or not since I want to come for it so badly but at the same time, I have something to attend to aswell. Im guessing im going there alone if im going for the pinkdot.

So what are my opinions about the LGBTQ as a whole? Hmm to me , i cant force people and telling people around that hey u cant love that person just because that person of the same gender as you. I mean in my point of view, loving someone of the same gender is completely nothing round. As in its really unfair to the non straight people telling them that u know what they did is wrong and its against the religion that kind of things bla bla bla.

I think what most importantly is what kind of activities that you guys as a couple is involved in. I mean i want to have a healthy relationship whereby me and my partner will be so open and will communicate things out and will never hide anything between the two of us.  With that, it will built up yr trust about yr partner and there you will feel less paranoid if yr partner is cheating on u or whatsoever u call it. Hmm im guessing for a relationship to work out, communication is the key followed by developing trust about yr partner and just accept each other flaws(we are humans, full of imperfections-even robot makes mistake yo-GET THE POINT OF WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY HERE?) . Just ask yourself if you are in relationship whether you are happy with yr partner. If your answer is yes then its a good sign but well if it turns out to be the other way round, im guessing more bonding session is required to get to know yr partner.

If the reason behind the unhappiness for yr partner comes from you (meaning yr partner says that she or he doesnt feel happy when he or she is with u), then im guessing for the both benefit of you, it will be good to go for separate ways. Im not trying to say to take the easiest way out but well at the first place, why get into a relationship when you fall for someone who isnt yr compatible. I mean this kind of thing there isnt a need for rush. If u r having a crush on someone, just take the time to know the person.Give yourself some more time to really know whether he or she really suits u or not. Hmm if your crush seems uninterested or is just avoiding you, im guessing you should pay attention to all those hints and signs and yeah MOVE ON for FUCK SAKE. hahah I mean its okay to just be friends and nothing more. Set your own boundaries.

Just one piece of advice that i received from a stranger is that DO NOT BELIEVE AT SOMEONE DURING YOUR FIRST MET. I got me thinking real hard what he meant by those words and sooner i realised that dont trust people way way too easily. It is because people might take advantage of your weaknesses and go overboard and push you over the limit. So as for now, those words really struck me in my head and will remember not to believe at the person u just met so easily.

I want to believe that people in this world is all good but apparently, this world isnt all sugar, isnt all sweet.
Theres evil people out there just that they didnt show their dark side yet so yeah just be extra careful when you place your trust at people. Do it at the right time, right place.

Speaking of my sexuality, Im dead sick and tired of using gay chat app since most of the user there is looking for sex. Am still not out yet,still figuring whats my orientation is. Its like one moment im so into guys, one moment im so into girls, the next moment, im into both.HAHA wonder what is my actual orientation. Gay curious?straight? Bi ? Bi curious? Straight acting? Discreet straightacting? discreet bi curious ? etc etc the labels lgbt have on us.

Yeah just remember what i mention earlier , not to trust people so easily. That applies to hear, dont trust everything what you have read about me or my previous post 100%. Im just saying. Hhaha

Till then,
Potato:)

POSITIVITY

Let me start with beginning to apologize for not posting quite often as what I would like to do. Its been 4th week of school and Im starting to feel tired of presenting and stuffs like that. Hahah but I decided to look it at a different angle.

As you guys might have known it already I had a misunderstanding at first. Looking back at the real situation and after analyzing it, I can concluded that it was my fault i guess(not entirely though). Im being way too emotional and that is something im working on to be less emo lol. I thanked my close friends (training buddies peeps) for e advices and thanks for teaching me to be more thick skin. Im taking everything way too serious and that shouldnt be that way. hahah Life should be an enjoyable one and not way too serious.

Having said that, there still remarks going on in the class but heck care. As long it never directly targeted to me, im fine with it. I dont give a darn if anybody in the class says things like "threesome" , "gay" , "someone who is confused -not sure either male or female", "thats so gay" and "bapok" etcetc. SAY ALL YOU WANT haha my dear straight coursemates E37H.

I appreciate what my class has did to make us feel bonded. I think I stand in no position to voice out open in my E37H class to suggest ideas to make our class bonded. Come on theres is 19 of us and i hope we all can be less awkward towards each other from now on. Its freaking fourth week already tgt so yeah someone has to get the ball rolling first right. (But well i know some arent as willing to make the class feel bonded-one tip of advice , dont be a spoiler)

Well theres a purpose for OUR WHATSAPP GROUP. Dont feel afraid to voice anything out. If theres anyone who has something to suggest, feel free to say anything in whatsapp. Stop being the coward and wait things to happen. If theres someone who is unhappy with me also, feel free to whatsapp me personally. It would be good if we can talk things out over coffee or something.(if thats even necessary)

So far I have learnt to accept everyone in my class. There is something that beyond my control and will power like change other people perception towards me . I cant change that. Hahah im making sense right?
TBH I find my coursemates in E37H unique.Each of us is unique as an individual. Yes we all have our different unique character, (some of us listen to dangdut genre, some love to watch hindi movies/hear bollywood, some have good taste of musics , some listen to VERY MALAY SONG , some listens to kpop while some DONT EVEN HEAR MUSICS LOL HAHA u know which cat. you guys belong to)

I cant prevent cliques from happening in our class. I DONT HAVE THE POWER TO THAT. Just that I hope everyone in the class makes the effort not to dis include or isolate someone just because that person appears to be "stand out" from the rest. Being "stand out" or being "different"  doesnt make one less human as compared to the "normal" people. I sincerely didnt mean nay hatred in this post , i meant it well in the bottom of my heart. Before I proceed on further, I would like to apologize if I appear to be rude or has offended someone be it intentionally or unintentionally.

Lets put our differences behind us and lets make the effort to make us bonded.

Moving on, theres one random occasion where the girls in the class started the "what is your relationship status" and whether how many relationships we all have. Questions like "Have you fall in love before?" , 'who is yr ex? Is it he or she? " Im perfectly fine with this questions being shoot at me but well I cant possibly say thruthfully right? HAHHA Yes I admit I used to admire this particular girl back then in secondary school. I will forever treat her as my friend and Im fine with the fact that we are merely a friend. Eventhough shes so far from me(shes from TP) and im from RP, we still can communicate with each other through social media. A simple hi or a simple "i miss you" isnt something so hard to type. I love her as a friend.HAHAH nothing more nothing less.

HAHAH I realised i begin to mix alot with girls and I hope the girls in my class wont misunderstand me for being way too cheeky/flirty in class when I start to talk to them more often. Im not that macho or have lean abs (or something else) that girls are looking for. So yeah dont fall for me please. HAHAHA. I am good for nothing really. Please find someone who is much more hunkier than me. Hahha just dont go after me(haha im nobody haha)

Yeah having said that, I used to have bf. Irony right. HAHAH judge me all u want .Say all you want. I dont care what people think about me. That was my first ever normal relationship(theres isnt such thing as gay relationship, straight rs and lesbian rs etc) . Believe it or not, my first ever rs was towards a guy.(I suggest those who are homophobic please refrain from reading any further-dont tell me I didnt warn u ah) It ended 2 months. I guess that was the furthest i can love someone lol. I was so insecure about myself in the past(now still feel insecure but feeling less insecure alr) Thats e reason why I discourage anyone from having feelings towards me. I want find love the least I expected it to turn out to be anyways. HAHA so whats my ideal type or my ideal type of bf(afterall i go for guys-sorry girls, told u im not normal from the very beginning)?

Hahha I myself dont even know what I want. Hahah but dont worry guys in E37H, I wont behave too gayly towards any guys in my class. Y must I since theres so much hatred towards the gay as a whole? I shall play the hide and seek game where I pretend to be straight infront of my straight guys just to make me feel" fit in" in the crowd. YEAH GUYS WITH ABS ARE HOT! HAHA(omg thats so gay of me)

Now I know why the society has bad impression towards gay. HAHA G.a.y carries diseases . ALL GAYS ARE SISSY and many more. E society is already like that. Too negative already. GAY IS ALL ABOUT SEX AND STUFFS LIKE THAT. Sadly, thats the truth. HAHA Doesnt mean one gay goes around having ONS to random strangers deserves u the right to generalise all gays guys in singapore are like that. There are a lot of people i knew who isnt after sex and stuffs like that. Purely decent relationship. Whats so eww about gays sex or gay as a whole lol . Hhaha than hearing straight couple making out in bed to you is considered normal? AHAHA what logic sia. GAY D0ESNT EQUAL TO RANDOM SEX.

Speaking on behalf of LGBT comm in sg we knw how to take care of ourselves and dont point finger at us for e root cause of increasing trend in people contracting hiv related diseases. Read up more and get yourself educated you little prick. Dont assume that you guys know more better than anyone else.

Nevertheless I hope I can find  a guy that really caught my attention. Waiting for the right time for the right person. I dont wish to let myself hurt again emotionally and yeah which leads me to depression(a little).

I hope my readers has a better understanding towards me now. All comments is greatly appreciated. I do take positive criticism aka negative feedback also dont worry. Basically to sum everything up, this post is something what I view personally(my POV-which stands of point of view).

I type alot tonight and thats because I have alot of things to stay but it seems to me that I cant express everything out verbally. I hope my classmates or anyone out there will have a positive mindset towards anyone from now on. (IN OTHER WORDS, lets all us dont generalise other people just because of one particular person of that category/race/gender etc, do something appalling. Its unfair. Just becasue we gays love dicks doesnt mean we go around fucking others) -U can sense how frustrated am I hahah.
Okay goodnight my beloved readers and stay tune to my next post.Love u my readers to the moon and back <3

1ST Week of PBL experience @RP

First up, I would like to apologize on my behalf for not blogging for a couple of days. I was so busy with school and stuffs like that. So for those who arent a RP student and would like to know whats RP system like, in this post I will share whats like to be a RP student.

As I have mention before, I am a shy student + low self-esteem + appear to be cold to others + dont open up to others easily etc etc and i think people like me will see themselves change after they graduate from RP. How can I assure you that is because of the systems that RP has which differs from other poly. As I am student from the School of the Sports Health and Leisure (SHL, which is to me the best and greatest school among all to be part of) , it requires us to be more outspoken and talk alot at the right time. So yeah  Im gonna  talk about whats is this PBL approach is all about in the next paragraph.

PBL approach also know as problem base learning where in each module there will be a problem given by the facilitator (also known as "teacher" or "lecturer" whatever you call it) in each day and by the end of the day, each teams has to present their respective solutions to the problem. It requires students to think out of the box and requires us to do alot of research as there is a template know as PDT (problem definition template) to follow to(act as a guidelines to solve the problem).

My one week of school has been a eye-opener for myself and it surely tells me whats my stand in terms of openness and all among my coursemates. There are 19 of us altogether in our class and yeah everyone has a unique characters and yeah I think it takes time for us to really know each other very well or atleast well enough. Theres so much things that my course mates do not know about me and vice-versa. If they find out  my darkest side , I dont think they will accept me as it is. Sigh its just a matter of time where the rest find out the real me.

Who says I dont open up, haha I found out the OB thingy about the 5 big personality scoring is abit not accurate and untrue lol. Hahha I do open up to strangers but not to my coursemate and I have no idea why. Reason why I dont reveal my self that much is because of my past. Trust issues and stuffs like that. Being bullied as hell during my primary school days but yeah thats old stuffs lol. During sec school, I rarely go out and to know alot of people. (was a terrible geek and nerdy kid back then) hahah. Things have changed after I graduated from sec school. Im starting to love to meet and know new people but I guess I tend to do it at the wrong channel/way if you got what I mean.

I think by now people will have a different perception about me already. Im not as nerdy as what people thought I would turn out to be. Yes I may not be the type who goes out often and explore new places but yeah in another words, I make use of my social media and laptop to know more people. Actually, Im tired of hiding the truth already as I guess my course mates already guess what type of person I really am. So yeah to those who knows it, please keep it to yourself and yeah it would be good if you dont use it(the facts) to bully me/ make me appear small.

Enough of my secrets hahah. Yeah the recent post-FOP camp has taught me a good lesson which is in life, people will look down on you, people gonna crashed you real hard and yeah people will make your life difficult but yeah the point is how are you gonna overcome this type of people and the challenges and how you gonna stand up for yourselves. Im almost teared when hearing those words but well being too emo also does not bring any good to me cause it will make me behave awkwardly with others. Will work on that .

Yeah its such a lengthy post but well deep down , I appreciate my readers who really takes the time to read this post.

 With lots of love,
the awkward potato

Secret #2

Not many people knew that I actually attained the certificate for Best Performance in Home Economics Secondary 2 Normal Academic in year 2010. Hahah i must enjoyed myself cooking that much thats why I think I deserve it lol. HAHAH to be honest I have no idea how in the world I could get that award. Come on who will be expecting a nerd fat malay guy achieving that award. Yes I admitted that I have been striving my best to get Best In Malay Language throughout my secondary school years but well somehow luck isnt on my side. For 5 consecutive years i have been working so so hard to get the award-best in Malay Language but yeah I got the Best in Home Economics Secondary 2 NA instead. Hhaha better than nothing lol. Honestly I felt disappointed in not getting the best in Malay Language back then in secondary school cause I would say I do really well in malay language. I was like super baku and super malay (the way i speak lol) back then during the old secondary sch times. Hahah who would have expected that I attained distinction for my malay language during Os. Hahah miracle though hahah. Yeah moving on I wanna blog about DREAMS.

Yes everyone has unique dreams/goals in their own life. However please bear in mind that theres two kind of goals- firstly the short term goals and secondly is the long term goals. Short term goals are goals that you wish to accomplish it within a short period of time while the long term goals are vice versa. However both goals must be a realistic one else yr goals will never be reached. Hmm i guess the key point here is to take one small step at a time and never give up. Yes I came so far to get into RP- went to take my Os and then spend half a year in TP to discover myself deeper and yeah wasted another half a year doing part time job of which most of my secondary school peers are almost reaching to graduation or going to be year2 in poly. Hhaha heck care what people say about me cause Im to the extend that I dont really care that much of what people said about me. Hhaha being too thick skin i guess. Yeah well life has definitely taught me valuable lessons which i cant forgot for sure and I thank god for the chances and opportunities he has given to me to realise my fullest potential. Hopefully during my years in RP, life will teach me more things as Im always hunger for knowledge and eager to share it with my other coursemates. Socials skills is sth that one cant get anywhere from textbook so I hope RP will provide ample opportunities for one to develop his or her socials skills.

Yeah as RP being a institute of higher learning, for sure one has to learn how to be independent for their school work and how to control or manage his or her emotions/feelings. Its like emotions management is really necessary cause if one fail to control his or her emotions, it may cause adversely effect on him or her.

Yeah thats my secret #2 - achieving the Best Performance in Home Economics and to be more outspoken is my long term goal for now. I guess its time for me to step out of my very own comfort zone and explore to new ideas and be wild at times. Hahha being wild in a fun and decent way lol.

I shall end my post here.Take care peeps.

With lots of love,
Potato in blue.