POSITIVITY

Let me start with beginning to apologize for not posting quite often as what I would like to do. Its been 4th week of school and Im starting to feel tired of presenting and stuffs like that. Hahah but I decided to look it at a different angle.

As you guys might have known it already I had a misunderstanding at first. Looking back at the real situation and after analyzing it, I can concluded that it was my fault i guess(not entirely though). Im being way too emotional and that is something im working on to be less emo lol. I thanked my close friends (training buddies peeps) for e advices and thanks for teaching me to be more thick skin. Im taking everything way too serious and that shouldnt be that way. hahah Life should be an enjoyable one and not way too serious.

Having said that, there still remarks going on in the class but heck care. As long it never directly targeted to me, im fine with it. I dont give a darn if anybody in the class says things like "threesome" , "gay" , "someone who is confused -not sure either male or female", "thats so gay" and "bapok" etcetc. SAY ALL YOU WANT haha my dear straight coursemates E37H.

I appreciate what my class has did to make us feel bonded. I think I stand in no position to voice out open in my E37H class to suggest ideas to make our class bonded. Come on theres is 19 of us and i hope we all can be less awkward towards each other from now on. Its freaking fourth week already tgt so yeah someone has to get the ball rolling first right. (But well i know some arent as willing to make the class feel bonded-one tip of advice , dont be a spoiler)

Well theres a purpose for OUR WHATSAPP GROUP. Dont feel afraid to voice anything out. If theres anyone who has something to suggest, feel free to say anything in whatsapp. Stop being the coward and wait things to happen. If theres someone who is unhappy with me also, feel free to whatsapp me personally. It would be good if we can talk things out over coffee or something.(if thats even necessary)

So far I have learnt to accept everyone in my class. There is something that beyond my control and will power like change other people perception towards me . I cant change that. Hahah im making sense right?
TBH I find my coursemates in E37H unique.Each of us is unique as an individual. Yes we all have our different unique character, (some of us listen to dangdut genre, some love to watch hindi movies/hear bollywood, some have good taste of musics , some listen to VERY MALAY SONG , some listens to kpop while some DONT EVEN HEAR MUSICS LOL HAHA u know which cat. you guys belong to)

I cant prevent cliques from happening in our class. I DONT HAVE THE POWER TO THAT. Just that I hope everyone in the class makes the effort not to dis include or isolate someone just because that person appears to be "stand out" from the rest. Being "stand out" or being "different"  doesnt make one less human as compared to the "normal" people. I sincerely didnt mean nay hatred in this post , i meant it well in the bottom of my heart. Before I proceed on further, I would like to apologize if I appear to be rude or has offended someone be it intentionally or unintentionally.

Lets put our differences behind us and lets make the effort to make us bonded.

Moving on, theres one random occasion where the girls in the class started the "what is your relationship status" and whether how many relationships we all have. Questions like "Have you fall in love before?" , 'who is yr ex? Is it he or she? " Im perfectly fine with this questions being shoot at me but well I cant possibly say thruthfully right? HAHHA Yes I admit I used to admire this particular girl back then in secondary school. I will forever treat her as my friend and Im fine with the fact that we are merely a friend. Eventhough shes so far from me(shes from TP) and im from RP, we still can communicate with each other through social media. A simple hi or a simple "i miss you" isnt something so hard to type. I love her as a friend.HAHAH nothing more nothing less.

HAHAH I realised i begin to mix alot with girls and I hope the girls in my class wont misunderstand me for being way too cheeky/flirty in class when I start to talk to them more often. Im not that macho or have lean abs (or something else) that girls are looking for. So yeah dont fall for me please. HAHAHA. I am good for nothing really. Please find someone who is much more hunkier than me. Hahha just dont go after me(haha im nobody haha)

Yeah having said that, I used to have bf. Irony right. HAHAH judge me all u want .Say all you want. I dont care what people think about me. That was my first ever normal relationship(theres isnt such thing as gay relationship, straight rs and lesbian rs etc) . Believe it or not, my first ever rs was towards a guy.(I suggest those who are homophobic please refrain from reading any further-dont tell me I didnt warn u ah) It ended 2 months. I guess that was the furthest i can love someone lol. I was so insecure about myself in the past(now still feel insecure but feeling less insecure alr) Thats e reason why I discourage anyone from having feelings towards me. I want find love the least I expected it to turn out to be anyways. HAHA so whats my ideal type or my ideal type of bf(afterall i go for guys-sorry girls, told u im not normal from the very beginning)?

Hahha I myself dont even know what I want. Hahah but dont worry guys in E37H, I wont behave too gayly towards any guys in my class. Y must I since theres so much hatred towards the gay as a whole? I shall play the hide and seek game where I pretend to be straight infront of my straight guys just to make me feel" fit in" in the crowd. YEAH GUYS WITH ABS ARE HOT! HAHA(omg thats so gay of me)

Now I know why the society has bad impression towards gay. HAHA G.a.y carries diseases . ALL GAYS ARE SISSY and many more. E society is already like that. Too negative already. GAY IS ALL ABOUT SEX AND STUFFS LIKE THAT. Sadly, thats the truth. HAHA Doesnt mean one gay goes around having ONS to random strangers deserves u the right to generalise all gays guys in singapore are like that. There are a lot of people i knew who isnt after sex and stuffs like that. Purely decent relationship. Whats so eww about gays sex or gay as a whole lol . Hhaha than hearing straight couple making out in bed to you is considered normal? AHAHA what logic sia. GAY D0ESNT EQUAL TO RANDOM SEX.

Speaking on behalf of LGBT comm in sg we knw how to take care of ourselves and dont point finger at us for e root cause of increasing trend in people contracting hiv related diseases. Read up more and get yourself educated you little prick. Dont assume that you guys know more better than anyone else.

Nevertheless I hope I can find  a guy that really caught my attention. Waiting for the right time for the right person. I dont wish to let myself hurt again emotionally and yeah which leads me to depression(a little).

I hope my readers has a better understanding towards me now. All comments is greatly appreciated. I do take positive criticism aka negative feedback also dont worry. Basically to sum everything up, this post is something what I view personally(my POV-which stands of point of view).

I type alot tonight and thats because I have alot of things to stay but it seems to me that I cant express everything out verbally. I hope my classmates or anyone out there will have a positive mindset towards anyone from now on. (IN OTHER WORDS, lets all us dont generalise other people just because of one particular person of that category/race/gender etc, do something appalling. Its unfair. Just becasue we gays love dicks doesnt mean we go around fucking others) -U can sense how frustrated am I hahah.
Okay goodnight my beloved readers and stay tune to my next post.Love u my readers to the moon and back <3